Plant a seed....but how can you be sure it will grow?

This has been one of the most trying years of teaching for me (but then again...I only have one other year to compare it to). I feel like I'm getting absolutely no where with me students. It is January and I haven't noticed any change in any of them. Am I making any difference in their lives? There are two in particular that are always on my heart and I want to save more than anything. It is hard to realize that I'm no magician and can't just "fix" them. In the back of my mind somewhere I know that I can't fix them on my own in just 6 short months when they've had ten and eleven years of hurt and anger built up in them. I wish I could just say the exact right thing and everything to be better, but I can't. I can only plant a seed of hope, and pray that it grows and they will overcome their troubles.
One student is very angry. He is told over and over by his mom that he's no good. She tells him that she doesn't even want him anymore cause he never does anything right, why can't you be good like your brothers? Mom tells me that I just need to settle in for the long haul because this is the way he's always been and this is how it's always going to be. I see the self loathing in his eyes, he believes the lies and nothing else. He says he is stupid even though he is not. If he really takes his work seriously and completes it, he is my top student. Unfortunately that isn't the case. He thinks he's a failure, so why should anyone else expect anything else from him? He doesn't want to believe anything good about himself. He doesn't listen to the positive things said about him, only the negative. I see myself in him in that respect. He won't open up. Anytime anyone gets too close the automatic defense mechanism comes up to protect himself from anyone getting too close because he's been hurt too many times. To him it's easier to push people away. He is a funny kid, and he really wants to help in anyway possible. His anger is evident in his reactions. He gets pushed too far and he explodes. Yelling, shoving, throwing things, storming out of the class. He expects to always get his way in everything and do it all on his own agenda and when it doesn't work that way he shuts down. He doesn't think he has to listen to anyone no matter who they are. He doesn't like getting no, or not right now for an answer. How am I supposed to teach him? I'm not there to give him what he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants because he isn't the only person in the class. I have 26 total students in my class and so I can't cater to what everyone wants. I'm there to teach him, not only reading, writing, math, science, and social studies. I'm there to teach him how to function in society, compromise, and cooperation. I can't even put it into accurate enough words to describe this young man, but my heart aches for him and I feel like I'm failing him. It is six months into school and I have seen no improvements in him and that worries me. I automatically get down on myself because I'm obviously doing something wrong if nothing is changing. I worry about his future. I'm terrified that if things keep going the way they are, his anger and disregard for anyone but himself are going to get him into some serious trouble with the law. He's already had a few run ins with the law but those seem to mean nothing to him. I don't know what else to do for this young man. Some days I just feel like giving up because I'm obviously making no difference in his life, but if I do I will just reaffirm how feels about everyone letting him down. I just have to plant a seed of hope and pray that it will grow because I get the feeling that I'm not going to see it happen in the next four months of school we have left. I don't know what has happened in his past because he won't open up. I don't know why he is so angry, I can only hope for that the future will brighten up somehow.
Another student, I don't even know what to do with. He is blatantly disrespectful to me and his classmates. He throws himself on the ground in fits if he doesn't get his way and blames everyone else for his actions. I watch him do things, and he yells at me saying he didn't do anything. When the rest of the class is lined up to go somewhere and we are in the hallway, he stays in the room and just laughs and smiles and refuses to leave. It is a game to him. We have been late to assemblies and specials because he will not leave the room. I'm at a loss of words to describe him. I want to help him so bad, but he wants nothing to do with it. I spend the majority of energy on him and ignore the other 25 and I hate that. He puts his hands over his ears when I talk to him and laughs at me. He thinks the other kids are being mean to him, but they are tired of him taking their things or making fun of them. It isn't just a one way street and I do all that I can to create harmony at the end of the day in the classroom. I can talk to him until I am blue in the face and nothing changes. His behavior stays the same. I talk with the class about how we need to treat each other and their behavior changes but his remains the same. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I've failed him. He is being moved to another class so I've lost any opportunity to make a difference. I truly hope things are better for him in the other class, but it comes down to him and his decisions.
At the end of every day, I do a mental replay of how things happened that day. What should of been handled differently? What can I do tomorrow to make a difference? What went well? Most of the time I just feel like I'm trying to climb up a ladder with me arms tied behind my back. I've tried everyhting I could think of, I've tried everything other people could think of and nothing seems to work. When I ask for help I'm being told that they don't know how to help me, they don't know what to do, yet I'm the failure. Nothing is changing becuase I'm not doing something right. No one is telling me that, but that is how it feels. I just don't seem to get it. I feel like giving up. I feel like I'm standing alone. I send things home, I get told that they're not signing anything or doing that, and so my attempts fail. It only works if EVERYONE goes with it for what is best for that child. Seems like some people want to put the balme somewhere else instead of looking at what they are doing or not doing and seeing how it effects someone. Some say I'm too eager to put the blame on myself and feel like a failure. How do you find the balance? It is very frustrating to see no results. I just have to keep trying, keeping going at it everyday and hope that I'm making a difference somehow, in some way. I worry that I will never see the lasting effects I make on these kids. I only get one short year with them and if I'm lucky they will be at my school in fifth grade and I can check up on them, but what happens after that? Some days being a teacher just really sucks, and others it is the best thing in the world to see the impact you're making. I'm not seeing the impact these days...so right now it just kind of sucks. All I can do is plant the seed and hope it will grow.